Don't Let Go
by xXBalorBabeXx
Summary: Roddy's death left them all searching for answers... and left her reliving a painful part of her past. (Co-written with Werewolf-queen-022 and Cry-Of-A-Warp-Engine)
1. Aftermath Of Tragedy

_**WWE Raw, 8/3/15…**_

Dakota walked around, trying to get her mind off of everything… she hadn't known Rowdy Roddy Piper for long but his death still pulled the rug out from under her.

She stopped when she saw 25 year old Amanda Cena, who's hazel eyes were reddened as the brunette was talking to 34 year old Finn Balor… Dakota felt terrible for the longtime diva and walked over, pulling her into a hug.

"It's okay, Mandy." Dakota whispered.

"We just lost Dusty… never thought we'd lose him, let alone Roddy. For as long as I can remember, they were both there." Amanda responded quietly.

"Think of the good times you had with them." Dakota whispered.

Amanda nodded as they let go, brushing her tears away.

"I was all set to tell him that I got cleared off the anticonvulsants… so I called him that day. And Kitty picked up instead, she said it was in his sleep so he wasn't in pain when it happened. He taught me a lot, so did Dusty… they treated me like family. Roddy even taught me how to drive when I got my license…" Amanda said, Dakota rubbing her right shoulder as Finn rubbed his right hand up and down Amanda's back. "How many times does it have to happen… for us to realise that there's something triggering this? They weren't nowhere near ready to leave, not without a fight." She said in a voice that sounded so broken, Finn wrapping his arms around her as Dakota noticed that Amanda's ring outfit tonight was plaid to resemble Roddy's kilt.

"They're never really gone, Mandy… there'll always be some kind of sign that they're here." Finn whispered, lightly running his fingers through Amanda's hair.

Dakota agreed with that… and knew that Amanda would go through with the show tonight.

Amanda reapplied her makeup after putting some Clear Eyes drops in her eyes and was out there for Wade Barrett vs Zack Ryder with Dakota as well as Finn on commentary, having competed in her own match against Sasha which ended in a double countout… but halfway through the current match, Zack tossed Wade right into Amanda and she collided face first into the barricade.

Finn and Dakota stood up and ran to Amanda, both crouching down and Finn cradling Amanda's face in his hands, checking her over for head injuries. Wade and Zack broke character and headed over to them as the referee called for the ringside doctor.

"You sorry son of a bitch!" Dakota yelled, lunging for Zack.

"It was an accident, I'm sorry!" Zack responded, trying to calm Dakota down as Finn and Wade helped Amanda up… and Wade saw that Amanda had a loose tooth.

"Hold still, little lady." Wade said, reaching into Amanda's mouth and pulling the tooth out, which made Dakota cringe when she saw it.

"I'm gonna stomp your ass so hard your grandchildren will have bruises!" Dakota yelled at Zack.

"Kota, it was an accident! I've known Zack since I was 16, he'd never use physical violence against a woman, it was just a mistimed accident." Amanda responded, Dakota reluctantly letting go of Zack's hair and walking over. She pulled Amanda's mouth back as Dr. Amann reached ringside, looking closer.

"It's on the left side of her mouth. She had her wisdom teeth pulled a few years back and the surgeon accidentally sliced the inside of her cheek." Dr. Amann explained, putting gauze to the wound.

In the back, Wade stayed with them and profusely apologized.

"Wade, it was an accident, don't beat yourself up over it." Amanda said as Wade crouched down to her eye level, his 6'7" frame towering easily over her 5'1" frame.

"Mandy, I should've been cautious with you there. These things do happen but it doesn't make it right." Wade replied, thumbs lightly rubbing back and forth on the shoulders they rested on.

Dakota headed out into the hallway to clear her mind and saw Seth walk over, stopping him.

"Not now." Dakota responded. "I'm not in the mood to hear your crap."

"Well I want to see Mandy." Seth said.

"She just got knocked off the damn ring apron and hit her face against the barricade! On top of losing Roddy, she's in no damn state of mind to be around too many people!" Dakota hissed.

"Easy, calm down, lady." Seth said.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down, boy." Dakota sneered.

"Or what?!" Seth demanded.

Amanda opened the door to investigate the noise, saw Seth and narrowed her eyes at him before slamming the door as he walked over.

"Boom! Door slammed in your face!" Dakota said.

"Kota, just let me talk to her-" Seth responded.

"Just go away!" Amanda replied.

"She doesn't want to talk to you." Dakota said.

Seth stormed off and Dakota walked back into the trainer's room.

"Damn I was hoping to let some frustration out on him." Dakota muttered.

"That bloody idiot doesn't take a hint." Wade replied.

The lack of eating, excessive caffeine and injury to her mouth made Amanda turn paler and throw up, Finn holding her hair back as Dianne walked in. Dakota clamped her hand over her own mouth trying to not throw up as well.

Amanda stopped after a few minutes, Dianne rinsing the bucket out as Finn opened a bottle of water and handed it to her. Amanda sipped it slowly, Dakota knowing that everything from the past few days had caught up with her.

Dakota quickly left the room and leaned against the wall. A few seconds later, Dianne found her.

"You think she'll be okay?" Dakota asked.

"Mandy… has a lot of past trauma that she's tried to hide. Dusty's death was doubly upsetting because it was close to being 8 years to the days of losing Sherri and Chris, Nancy and little Daniel. With Roddy, that makes the pain worse." Dianne responded.

"We've all gotta help each other through it… hold each other up even when we insist we're okay." Dakota said.

"We've all lost someone… we're all in the same boat, it's a joint effort that we don't fall overboard." Dianne replied.

"Basically we're all one big family here. Some of us might hate each other but when times are hell, we stick together." Dakota said.

In the trainer's room, Finn brushed Amanda's hair back as she had one of her legs tucked close to her and Wade went to check on Dakota and Dianne.

"It feels so empty here… he would be asking why we're all crying. How are we gonna go on without him?" Amanda whispered.

"By staying strong… and remembering the good times. What's one of your favorite memories of him? It could be anything you remember as a fan or as a wrestler." Finn responded.

"Wrestlemania 12… Roddy's match against Goldust, a Hollywood Street Fight. Reminds me of the fight scene in They Live. He made this business more realistic instead of scripted… and I'll always love him for it." Amanda replied as Finn wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Four days… why is it hitting hardest now?" She whispered.

"Because now you're starting to recognise things that never used to happen without him, that now are." Finn answered quietly.

"I wanted to tell him… I wonder if somehow he knew that I don't have to…" Amanda said… she trailed off, recognising the faint outline of Roddy in the corner of the trainer's office. _'I'm cleared now.'_ She mouthed, Roddy smiling slightly.

 _'That's great news, kiddo.'_ Roddy mouthed before looking at Finn and mouthing _'Keep an eye on her, kid.'_

And just like that, he was gone… but not for good.


	2. Still Watching

**Hotel De Anza...**

In the bar, Dustin Rhodes was on his second beer… he hadn't stopped reflecting on everything since he found out about Roddy's death and it hurt to remember the good times.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye to you, old friend." Dustin said quietly… and then felt a hand on his shoulder.

 _"I know… I'm not ready to leave either."_

"Here's to you, Roderick." Dustin responded before downing the rest of his beer.

Up in a room on the third floor, _Don't Come Around Here No More_ by Tom Petty played from the radio as Amanda and Finn slow danced to it, Amanda resting her head on Finn's right shoulder as his right arm remained secured around her back and his left hand entwined with her right one… they were in their pajamas, Amanda's face cleaned off as she started to doze off.

Finn picked her up into his arms and placed her onto the bed, pulling the covers over her before turning the radio off… he walked to the other side, pulled the covers up and sat down before stretching out, covers over him in seconds as he pulled Amanda into his arms and felt Amanda reach her right arm up and run her fingers through his hair.

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?" Finn asked quietly.

"Hold me close to you." Amanda whispered, her arm now draped over Finn as he obliged… in the darkened room, Finn noticed an aged scar on Amanda's right arm. "There was… an old friend of mine about 20 years ago. We were basically like sisters…" She said quietly, trailing off.

"It's okay… you can tell me." Finn responded in the same quiet tone.

"Sachael and I were being driven back home one day after school… the snow had started early that winter and it was strong. The next thing I knew, her mom had tried to slow the car down but the brakes didn't work and she hit a patch of ice… the next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital and finding out that she was gone. We were gonna go sledding down the mountain that afternoon… this beautiful cherry red sled with our names carved in it, meant the world to both of us. I lost my best friend because of a car that malfunctioned and… her going flying into the dashboard and breaking her skull." Amanda whispered as tears trailed down her face, Finn brushing them away.

"You'd never lost someone before that… it was a double shock, everyone always thinks that it'll 'never happen to me'... but we all get hit by it. She'd have had just so much to live for…" Finn replied. He'd never known Sachael, and with the news and media these days it was practically a daily occurrence to hear that someone had died. But it was the fact that Sachael was merely 5 years old that hit him the most.

"She had too much to do… for her life to have been snatched away so cruelly… it didn't make any sense to those who loved her and wanted the best for her." Amanda whispered, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

It wasn't long before both were asleep… and unknown to them, Sachael remained invisible in the room.

"I will always be here… I did continue to exist for something." Sachael whispered, as her eyes slowly scanned over the two sleeping wrestlers. "Even through this new… transformation I'll be having… I'm always here." She continued, the last part as she briefly rested a hand on Amanda's shoulder. Just as much as Amanda missed her sisterly friend, Sachael missed being alive, able to run with Amanda through the fields and slide down snow covered hills, or try to build the tallest towers possible in the sandpit like they always used to do.

Sachael left the room and in the hall was Roddy, who had yet to cross over.

"How is she?" Roddy asked.

"Quiet… missing those she's lost sight of. But that man… Finn, he takes care of her well." Sachael answered.

"He does… I was wary of him at first, she's a lot like a daughter to me." Roddy admitted.

"She was the sister I wish I'd had… and I really wish it hadn't had to end where and how it did, that… hurt. Not just to die, but also… to see her after I did." Sachael replied.

"I'm starting to miss her already… hugging her, talking to her… I promised I'd be alive to see her live out one of her dreams and I blew it." Roddy said, him and Sachael sitting down.

"You didn't blow it, Roddy… we're not truly gone." Sachael responded, her tiny right hand resting on his left arm. "Didn't you notice my wording? No one ever loses someone exactly… only loses _sight_ of them."

"Yeah, that's true… maybe I've just been dragging it on a bit, but…" Roddy started to reply.

"No hey, listen… trust me, it's just as hard for us to let go as it is for them to do so, it's okay." Sachael responded.

The next day in Sacramento for the SmackDown taping, Amanda was reading over the script for the commentary segment she had during Stardust vs Zack Ryder.

"He may have made the galaxy his home but I'll pull Stardust back down to Earth…" Amanda said quietly, setting the script down. "They should have a part tonight where Cody removes the contacts and paint and ditches Stardust completely." She muttered, unaware that Cody was in the doorway.

"Oh really now? What, the same as how you think I ditched you for no reason?!" Cody responded.

"The walls have ears… yeah, I know you're growing frustrated with playing an alter ego brother to Goldust. And it doesn't feel right for you to verbally attack me, Cody." Amanda replied after turning around, Balor Club tank top tied at the back.

"No, it doesn't… and you know why we split, whether it was dead right or dead wrong. But it is frustrating… instead of having my own character, I'm a half copy of another one's fame!" Cody responded.

"Beats being the eternally young kid member of The Shield. I thought after suggesting the split of the group, I'd feel free again." Amanda muttered, Cody turning startled and Amanda looking back at him. "And let's face it, you wouldn't have stuck around if we had kids because you didn't want to." She said, Cody turning infuriated.

"You want to go there, do you?! Maybe I would have stuck around if you'd taken care of yourself, or even looked at treatments! But no, you just cried it out and gave up, and you say that _I_ didn't care?!" Cody shouted in response.

"I did look into the treatments, you jackass! You know what happened when I tried one?! It caused my system to go haywire! Oh wait, you probably don't remember that because you were dick deep in Brandi while I was in the hospital!" Amanda yelled, Cody backhanding her.

Cody went for another blow to Amanda's face when he was grabbed from behind and tossed into the wall by Finn, who was absolutely furious at Cody putting his hands on Amanda.

"What was that, 'unfinished business' to handle?! How about you handle it with me, hey?! Go on, give me a good punch, I dare you to fucking try!" Finn growled, opening his arms out in a 'vulnerable' motion but also in such a way that his limb spread put cover in front of Amanda.

Cody stormed out, slamming the door and Finn turned to Amanda. His hands cradled her face, seeing that Cody had hit the left side of her mouth.

"No limits or respect, that man." Finn muttered as he examined the bruising jawline.

"I miss the Cody that I grew up with." Amanda said quietly as Finn checked for blood where her tooth no longer was, finding none and grabbing a gel pack from the fridge. He pressed it to Amanda's jaw with his right hand, his left hand on the back of her head and fingers running through her tousled chestnut locks to massage the scalp.

But the Cody she knew was long gone.


End file.
